Why hello there

My uncle came to visit me today. He was amazed at how big and beautiful my babies are and how alert they were. He also commented on how much weight I have lost snce I had the babies. I think most of the weight I carried were the babies. Thank goodness for me because I was already looking at a diet pill review site to see what would best match me . My cousin has been taking diet pills and so far they have been working for her.
speaking of cousin’s as soon as the boys are big enough I hope we can go camping with my cousins they are big on camping and I miss the good ole days of us hanging out together.

i really need to be packing a bag as we are supposed to be headed to san Diego tommorow for the kids doc appt and jas has school out there.

busy busy that’s me

Wow have I been busy. I have baely been able to sleep these boys have kept me pretty busy but I am really happy. My girls are out for the summer so we have a loud and busy house going on. My body is finally looking less swollen thank goodness for that because I had no Idea what I was going to wear.
I am so glad to be able to fit into most of my clothes again. I missed wearing alot of my clothes. especially with summer being so close I wanted to be able to wear my shorts.

Oh my cousin has been using pills with Fenphedra in them and she is getting great results. I might want to consider it too if she keeps the weight down. I dont understand why we have to struggle so much with weight. I know it is hereditery so 2hy couldn’t we have skinny genes instead of having overweight genes.
anyways the babies are waking up so I will try to get back here later on.

Just being crazy as usual

I tell you as if my own insecurities werent enough I get an email from my cousin telling me to check out the nuphedra review because she has heard alot of great things about these diet pills. she tells me to just check it out cause she knows I just had the babies and that I dont need to be taking any pills right now but she wants my opinion on them.

I dont know if it is my hormones going all crazy or what but it made me even more self concious about my weight. EVEN though I just had two babies!!
I know I am being kind of wacky about it but it just made me feel really overwieght right now . I know eventually some of this weight will go away but right now I feel really big and dont even have babies in my belly as an excuse .

I want to change

I dont know what is wrong with me sometimes. I think to much about what others might think about me. Like if I look like a big slob to others because I am overweight. I know sometimes they are irrational thoughts of mine but sometimes I think they aren’t because I see the way other people look at me with disgust. I will admit that I sometimes look at myself with disgust too.

I have looked online for any kind of diet pills that work and I have tried some inthe past but as soon as I stop taking them all the weight comes back. I have tried changing my lifestyle of eating but I always go back to eating the foods that are not healthy for me. I know I have to make a permanent change for myself and for my kids but sometimes it is easier said than done. I just hope i have the strength to actually find a way to stick to it this time

my babies are home

I am so glad that I got to bring my babies home today. I hated seeing my babies in the NICU but I knew that is where they needed to be at the time. I bet their will be alot of sleepless nights but for right now I am enjoying my babies.

I am currently breastfeeding so I hope that helps out a bit with my whole weight issues but eventually when the babies get older I am going to look into the
diet pill reviews out there and see if anyone of them suits me the best. I am tired of struggling with my weight. Right now I have an excuse but later on I wont have one. I have been battling this whole weight issue for a long time so I am just telling myself now that when I stop breastfeeding the babies I plan to do something about it.

planning ahead

My babies are barely going to be two weeks old and alreaady in my head I am thinking of all the themes that I could possibley have for their baby’s first birthday. I always celebrate their first birhtday with a big party. All the other parties aren’t as big as the first one . I remember Ashley’s first birthday because shortly after everyone went home she started walking for the first time.

Their are so many themes to decide from and I know I have plenty of time to decide but what I do know is that I want to have two separate cakes for each baby to blow out the candles. If i have gotten any advice about having twins is that you always sing happy birthday twice and have them be individuals and not always treated as one identity

so the waiting begins

I have been staying at my sister-inlaws while we wait for the babies to be released from the hospital. I cant wait for them to come home. It feels so weird to not be pregnant anymore and not have my babies with me.
Everyone has been telling me to rest as much as possible right now becuase when the babies are home it wont be so simple. I just want my babies with me instead of the hospital. I know it is better for them to be in their since they can check their oxygen levels but I am hoping since they are getting bigger they wont need to be on oxygen watch anymore.

My hunny wants to go on vacation but with the babies being so small it is out of the question now.
Visiting the Outer Banks will have to wait a few more years. Vacations period will have to wait. I always wait a month or two before I expose my babies to the stores or out where their are alot of people.

I felt so sad

I feel really sad that the babies had to stay in the hospital because they are preemies. We were supposed to be able to bring them home tommorow but it got set back because baby Elijah’s oxygen level went down while he was sleeping. The doctor says that if they do okay then they will be released sometime next week.

We came home today and I think we are going to spend the night at home and head back to San diego in the morning. I hope that the babies breathing gets better and they are able to finally be at home with their brothers and sisters.

I felt so empty while we wwere driving back home. It felt so surreal having two babies but coming home empty-handed.

I wish my babies were older and we could go on a cruise. For now I just want them home the cruise can wait even though they have the best deals right now.

I’m back

I haven’t updated much because I had the babies on friday may29 by emergency c section. What was supposed to be a routine visit ended up with me having the babies. They were born exactly five weeks early. I got released from the hospital today but the babies have to stay a little bit longer because their oxygen level had dropped and they want to make sure that they are ok before sending them home.

It feels kind of weird leaving the hosptial without my babies but I rather them be in the hospital where they are making sure that they are alright. I am going and try to get some rest before we bring the babies home but I really haven’t been able to rest well because even though they gave me pain killers the area where they did the c section still hurts.

On another note Ashley asked me about her rubber stamp that she bought months ago and I can’t seem to remember where I put it .if I dont find it soon I am going to have to find a replacement so I hope I can remeber soon or at least hope I am able to find it .

Ok I will try to update soon but for now I am going to go nitey nite.

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