I am excited

OOH I am so excited to write on here that I have scheduled my appointment to take my behind the wheel test. I have been practicing for almost two weeks and I am feeling confident and I am hoping that I can pass the test and have my license. I really need it to have a driver’s license and I have no Idea why I let the fear of driving overtake me. I should have learned long time ago.

I grew up with so many fears and barely now I am slowly letting them go. I am slowly coming out of my shell and maturing or so to speak. I am learning not to take people sh$% and learning to speak up for myself. It took me alot of tears and hard lessons but I am finally doing it.

I grew up without a father and that in a way scarred me cause you can say I always looked for that father figure. I always looked for approval and love. I was loved very much by my mother but I needed the fatherly figure you know what I mean?

I dont know where I am going with this post I guess I just wanted to write my thoughts in here

I am melting melting

I dont know how much more of this heat I can stand !! Even when I am outside for a few minutes I feel like I am going to pass out. I cant wait till the cold weather starts settling in. I so much perfer the cold to the hot. In the cold you can always budle up according to how cold u feel but when its hot you can’t take take more clothes off than you already have. Here I am sitting in my unmentionables because its too dang hot even with the air running its not cold enough to my liking.

Oh and my poor babies they have been sitting in just their diaper cause they cant stand the heat either. I had wanted them to be wearing their shirts that my cousin got them with their name on them ( have I mentioned how much I love personalized baby gifts ) but its too hot.

I really need to find a pool even if it’s just a little one but With this heat the pool will probably turn into a jacuzzi !! I know all I have been doing is whining about the weather but it really puts me in a bad mood. I already have a headache from it.

Muy caliente

Uuugghh I have just been having a really busy week and to make matters worse it’s been like 110f degrees out here. the lowest its been is 106 f degrees out here. I dont do well in the heat. I went to check the mail and I was not out there for more than 5 minutes and I got a really bad nose bleed from the heat.

I also got a heat stroke today but that’s a long story so I am not even going to write about that right now. Oh and to make matters worse hubbies computer is going kurplunky so we have to send it in to get fixed. i hope they can fix it cause if they dont I am going to be looking at all those laptop deals that I have been seeing. I hope that it starts cooling down soon and that next week will be better cause I cant take to much of this chaos that is all around me.

I am gonna do it

I am so proud of myself. I have been practicing driving behind the wheel and so far so good. I have been so scared of driving and especially the big van but now it doesnt seem so bad. I felt really bad about being so old and not knowing how to drive but I just never had the need too. I always had someone to drive me around.

I still want to practice some more before I schedule my behind the wheel test but I think I will be ready.I keep telling myself that I will be ready. It is all about the mindset of things and I have my mind set on driving. I hate depending on people and I hate things being thrown in my face. SO therefore I am going to get my license and noone cant tell me anything.

planning my escape

I have chaos coming from everywhere and I just want to escape. It sad but here I was looking at yamaha rhino’s and yamaha rhino 660 parts daydreaming my escape. I dont see how women can deal with the house the kids and having dinner ready and still have time for there husbands when they get home. I have been trying to manage and I am lucky if I can take a shower before 5pm .

I feel beyond exhausted and with my girls going at each other’s throat today I just want to ride off into the sunset( figure of speech since I can’t drive) even if its just for a few hours. I cant wait till all the kids are alseep and I can have a few minutes to think and not be distracted from all the noise

I should take my own advice

SO plans have changed yet again and my driving instructer a.k.a my hubbies cuncle is coming tomorrow to hopefully teach me how to drive. I really hope I can learn and go and take my behind the wheel test. I was talking to my sis-inlaw and she was telling me about all the truck accessories her truck needs. I am a firm believer that if its a need then get oit but if its a want then it can wait. I told her that those fuzzy dice she wants to hang on the mirror are not nessesary (who uses those anymore ).

I really cant say much cause I should follow my own advice when it comes to needs versus wants. I really not need a purse but I surely want them hehe. I am such a brat when it comes to purses. I am gonna tell you a little secret I have a purse on it’s way for me and I cant contain my excitement.
I am gonna be checking my mail everyday till it comes.

got distracted

I got so carried away yesterday that I forgot to post a picture of the two plate sets I am trying to decide on. Tell me what you think about this one roostersetbamboo and this is the other one that I like roosterset . I still need to look online for the utencil set I wrote about earlier but i am going to look. I bet some thrift stores mught have them since they were used so long ago that I am sure some people got rid of theirs.

I dont know but my taste in decor has changed bigtime. I feel like I am turning into my mom who was so into decorating the house and all the walls.

frustrations auughhh

I need to calm down I am so stressed out with my husband’s family drama. I cant stand it that they bring their drama to other people. I have my own problems to deal with and I dont need their problems to become my problems too.
I hate it that my husband doesnt stick up for me when I need him too. I would stick up for him if anyone were to ever talk bad about him but he doesnt show the same courtesy. His mother thinks she can talk shit to me and then come over my house and act like nothing ever happend. I dont know in what planet that’s ok but not in mine.

I just need to calm down and keep on looking for some cute dinner plates for the house. I want a farm s theme and really like these Rooster plates. I also want one of those big size spoon and forks but I am going to have to look on ebay for those. I also want some bamboo silverware only because my mom used to have some when I was growing up. I love virtual shopping it brings me relief just as much as real shopping does.

I am being so lazy right now

I should be getting ready to go practice driving but instead I am on the computer chilling. I spend the day cleaning up after the kids and now I have most of the kids settled down and ready to eat dinner. i havbe to get them back on a schedule cause they are gonna be in school next week. I cannot believe it but the summe flew by.
I wanted them in school cause they were driving me nuts but now that the time is getting close I am starting to feel a little bit sad.

Ooh I also have my behind the wheel test coming up. I hope I will be ready by then. I am gonna pray to have the strength and the courage not to be afraid and that I do good driving.

Was that a bad admission ?

Gosh I feel so bad for writing the previous post. I even feel worse cause I wished that everyone would have bought the boys personalized baby gifts. I dont want to seem ungrateful cause I really am not I just get so emotional when I have to check the babies bracelets to tell them apart.

I dont help matters cause I keep looking at all the personalized stuff and want them. I want them to have personalized bath towels cause they ae so cute and I want them to have their clothes personalized too. I know that is going a bit drastic but I think that personalized items are adorable and it makes me feel better. Hopefully as the twins get older I will be able to tell them apart.

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