One more day to go

I have been busting my ass picking up the house to have it ready for my hubbies graduation tommorow. I am beyond happy for him. We have guests coming from Las Vegas and from Los Angeles to celebrate with us. He is getting his Master’s in business administration. What makes his graduation so special is that he is the first to go to college and to graduate.

I am happy to say that he didnt need anyones help he did it all on his own. We will be taking both the van and the car because there are too many of us to fit in one car. I am so glad we have good car insurance cause I dont let just anyone use my car. I was looking for the cheapest auto insurance I could find but I went with what was reasonable and gave me the best coverage. If my father in law is the one who is driving that I am really glad that I have car insurance cause I think he drives like a maniac.





Back pain go jump off a bridge

I have been having pains in my back again. It drives me crazy when my back starts acting up because I cant do anything for fear that the spasms will hit and I am laid out in bed again. I am too young to be dealing with back pain like this. I can deal with dark circles under eyes and even a zit or too but this back pain is no joke.

I miss not being able to do many things. We have a trip to disneyland planned in the near future and one of my biggest worries is how I am going to stand walking all day and not being able to get on many of the rides. Who likes to go to a park and not be able to ride the rides. I am going fro my kids to enjoy but it really bums me out that I wont be able to enjoy too many of the rides. I jsut hope that when we go its not too hot or too cold. The cold weather makes my back spazz out even more.

I hope than sosmeday soon they will be able to find a better way to cure bulging disks and the tears I have. I hope that losing weight helps alliviate some of the pressure I am feeling on my back.





It was a good birthday even though I am older

My birthday came and went and yes I am a year older can you believe I turned the big 30. I am still in schock that I am no longer in my twenties. I have started reading prototype 37c reviews to see if I am in need of this wrinkle cream.

I feel like its only a matter of time before I end up with wrinkles. I am not youthful looking and I am sure by me not taking care of my face my face will age sooner. I feel stupid worrying about wrinkles and crows feet but it really worries me that I am starting to look old. I wish I could sta forever young but unless I find a fountain of youth that aint gonna happen.

I am not sure if I wrote on here that we went to the movies for our date. I love going to the movies there is something aqbout seeing a movie in the big sping with the rows and rows of seats. I am sure I could watch movies at home but I like getting dressed up and going to the movies sometimes. Have you ever noticed how the popcorn always tastes better at the movies too. All in all I had a nice birthday I was also good and didnt have cake for my birthday. I cannot believe I survived my temptation and didnt give in.





My babies are getting older

I am one year older and it makes me realize that my babies my little twins wont be so little anymore. Next month they will be 1 year olds. Where did the time fly? I am so in denial even though I know they have been outgrowing their baby clothes I just want to overlook it and think that they will be babies forever.

I think it makes me even sadder because I know that they are my last babies. I got my tubes tied and my baby making days are over. I get so sad that they are growing into toddler sizes now. Hubby wishes he could have had a little girl but I told him he is a boy maker. No matter what I think they would have been boys I think. He has all kinds of theories about how we could have made a girl but I think no matter what it is the luck of the draw. I personally think its easier with boys but thats just my opinion.

Well I am going to get ready and see if we go to the movies. I am gonna try not to eat too much food or sweets no matter how badly I want to. I have been doing good these few days and I am going to take it one day at a time. I know I need to do a whole lifestyle change its not something that is going to happen overnight. I keep telling myself that and it helps me get through the days.





I need to go to the mall

My birthday is coming up tommorow. I have been on a diet sort of. well I have just been watching wht I eat and not huge portions like I normally do. I know that not even the best diet pills in the world would help me if I kept eating the way I was. I had no self control when it came to sweets. I am really thinking of not getting a cake for my birthday. I want to loves over 100lbs eventually but right now I am concentrating on losing 30 lbs. It seems like a lot of weight to lose but I am taking it easy and not putting too much pressure on me.

I dont have any plans but I would like to go to the movies and see the back up plan or clash of the titans. I also have to start looking for a nice dress to wear I dont know how fancy the dress should be. I also need shoes to wear so I think I am going to go to the mall and check out what they have available. I want to buy some vans for me too. I am in need of another pair. I am going to try to go to the mall this weekend





I want to fix this house up

I cleaned house yesterday like I do everyday because its hard keeping the house spotless with six kids trust me. As I was cleaning inside the house and outside I noticed that my door mats need replacing. I have had those door mats since we lived at the old apartments. I really should have bougth new everything for this house but at the time almost all of our money went into the down payment.

We have been at this house for a year now and I want to fix it up nice. I am slowly starting to rearrange everything and I cant wait til I can buy some furniture. I am tired of the furniture we have now. I have had the same furniture for over 6 or seven years. Seven years is a long time to have furniture especially if it was used before you got it. As soon as my credit gets better I want to get some new furniture and I want to start with a new bed. I want a super comfortable bed because my back is real sensitive. I used to be able to sleep anywhere but not after the accident. I get so upset when I realize I cant do alot of the things I used to be able to do and especially because I am so young to be having all these issues.





Cleaning and to the park we will probably go

I woke up easrly today and started cleaning up the house. Hubby is at traffic school for a ticket he got and the kids are picking up their room. I cannot believe how messy the house can but with six kids wht do I expect. I am actually happy that it isnt as bad as it could be.

I want to buy a camcorder to record the babies milestones. The twins are getting so big I cannot believe that they will be turning one next month.They are starting to try to crawl and I want to get that on film. They are my last babies and it makes me kind of sad but I could not handle more I seriously couldnt. I am doing the best I can will all the kids we have and it helps alot that the girls are older and all the kids are prety well mannered and behave. I always get complimented when we re out how well behaved they are.

I really believe that it has alot to do by how they are brought up. If you dont train your kids well in the beginning how do you think you will be able to when they are older. I believe all kids need boundries and need to be taught manners.

Well as soon as we are done cleaning we will probably go to the park.





I want my dream wedding

I dont know if I have mentioned it on here but I love weddings. I am sucjh a romantic and what better romance than at a wedding. I love fairytale romances and I love going to weddings and seeing how much the groom and the bride love each other. I also love seeing how many presents they get and what kind of bridesmaid gifts the bridesmaids get. The best ones I have seen so far are tiffany’s bracelets and coach purses for all the bridesmaids.

I love gifts so seeing them get those gifts makes me so happy. I would love getting any purse or jewelry item. I also love wedding cakes they taste the best. I think its just the ambiance of weddings that makes me love them so much. What do you love about weddings? DO you love the dances or the food or the dresses? I want to someday have a big wedding and I want the best and most delicious cake anyone has ever had.

I want to renew my vows and get the nicest wedding I have ever had. I never got to have a big or small wedding we just went to the county courthouse and got married so I want to have a nice wedding someday. I might just bring it up to the hubby about renewing our vows and having that wedding I have always wanted.





I need something that is just for me

I recently bought a journal. Although I like ot write on here I also want to get in the habit of writing on a paper journal. I love being able to express what I feel. I think I bottle up my emotions sometimes and only let them out when I have had enough and then I explode with emotions and that is not good. I should never hold my feelings in for so long.

I have found a few journals I liked and I would have bought all of them but I was good and I only bought one. I guess if I stick to writing and filling it out then I can always buy more. I can be such a compulsive shopper sometimes. I dont know but shopping is like my therapy. Shopping relieves my stress and makes me feel so much better. I might not have alot of money to spend but even buying the littlest of things makes me feel better. I got happy buying colorful pens for goodness sakes. I guess I like having some things that are meant just for me. I need to have more time to myself and find a hobby to keep me entertained.

Hubby has his sports that entertain him and the kids have their toys. Other than the internet my life revolves around my children so I think its healthy for me to have something just for myself.





I dont want to feel pain

I had been doing so good but since the weather got cold and it even rained my back started acting up again. I try to take as much pain as I can handle before I take the pain relievers. It really deoresses me to have such a bad back. It makes me feel even more sad because it will never get better and eventually the pain medication wont even help. I dont want to have to resort to having disability insurance. I dont want to be disabled.

It scares me beyond belief that my bad might one day be as bad as my uncles. I see all the trouble he has and how sometimes the pain is so strong that he cant even get out of bed. I cant be like that. I have kids to take care of. I feel bad because I cant get on the fast rides that my kids like ot get on in amusement parks. I feel bad because on bad days my back hurts so much that even bending down and picking something up sends stabbing pains throughtout my back.

I hope to learn how to cope with this pain and I know that by me losing weight some of that back pain wont be as strong. I want to get better and not have to deal with this pain especially on cold days.





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