I dont want to feel pain

I had been doing so good but since the weather got cold and it even rained my back started acting up again. I try to take as much pain as I can handle before I take the pain relievers. It really deoresses me to have such a bad back. It makes me feel even more sad because it will never get better and eventually the pain medication wont even help. I dont want to have to resort to having disability insurance. I dont want to be disabled.

It scares me beyond belief that my bad might one day be as bad as my uncles. I see all the trouble he has and how sometimes the pain is so strong that he cant even get out of bed. I cant be like that. I have kids to take care of. I feel bad because I cant get on the fast rides that my kids like ot get on in amusement parks. I feel bad because on bad days my back hurts so much that even bending down and picking something up sends stabbing pains throughtout my back.

I hope to learn how to cope with this pain and I know that by me losing weight some of that back pain wont be as strong. I want to get better and not have to deal with this pain especially on cold days.


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