The sky is the limit

My children have been expressing a lot of interest in playing a musical instrument. My son would love to play a esp ltd 1000 fr guitar center elctric guitar and my girls have been interested in playing the piano and the drums. I have always told my children that they can play any instrument well if they dedicate time and practice to it. I have always told my kids that the sky is the limit.

I don’t ever want to crush my kids hopes and dreams. Seeing my children by happy and be kids at Disneyland’s California adventure made me smile and bare the heat. There is nothing that makes me more happy than to see my children so happy. For my children I am able to deal with anything and everything!!





I cannot believe Disneyland didnt get closed down after how packed it was!!

We spent the whole day at Disneyland’s California Adventure. Thank goodness we decided to go there instead of Disneyland because Disneyland was packed. We went into Disneyland at around 8pm and it was jammed packed. It looked like a big Clusterf*%k of people. The employees were tryign to guide people through a path but people were just pushing and shoving!! One of my twins got pushed over and he fell to the ground. He bumped his head on the cement and got a little bump.

I was so pissed!! I cannot believe the Amusement park let that many people be in the park at the same time. I am sure it was a fire hazard. The aprk employees told us that while they were almost at capacity they still hadn’t reached it. If you had been there today though you would be sure that it’s max was reached!! I will be writing Disneyland a letter lettign them know about how packed it was and how my child got pushed to the floor because of the employess efforts to move people on therough since the park was so packed!! I have been to Disneyland many times and never once have I seen it as bad as today.





Finding a stress reliever and trying to keep my anxiety down.

I have been trying to keep my stress and anxiety down as much as I can. I had a friend suggest I check out educa and order a puzzle or two so I can concentrate on it and keep my anxiety down. I really dont want to have to take medicine to calm my nerves. I had never felt anxiety like I do now and I know it stems from worries about the bills and worries about the money we get not being enough.

I hope I can get a job so I can have more income coming in and we wont have to worry about noot being able to cover all the bills. I am going to find different activites to keep my mind busy and not have time to feel so much anxiety over all the stuff I have going on right now.





I need a solo vacation

Is it bad that the week has just begun and I want the weekend to get here already? I have been having the most stressful week or month ever.September and October isn’t a good month for me to begin with and being stressed out about bills and finances just puts even more pressure on me.

I stress even more when I expect some money to come in and it doesn’t. I have tried to deal as best as I can with my stress but it is really hard to do. My friend thinks that my face breaking out is because of the stress I feel. I have never had as many pimples as I do now. I make sure I wash my face and even use clearasil and I have used clean and clear to get rid of the pimples I keep having. I really think I need a weeks vacation just by myself with nothing but a book!!!





When does it get better

There are days that I just want to pull my hair out!! No matter how much I clean this house never stays spotless when you have 3 year old twins. I cannot take my eyes off these boys for a second or they will be getting into something that they shouldn’t be getting into. I have to make sure that the screen door is locked with the key because the boys know how to unlock the door and go outside.

I have to constantly be hiring carpet cleaners to come clean my carpets because all my kids cant keep the carpet clean.I am great at finding carpet cleaners raleigh nc has a bunch of them but I cant find a decent one in my town!! I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown any minute now. Can someone tell me when everything will get better?





I wanted horse riding lessons and to own my own horse

When I was a little girl I always had the dream of becoming a great horseback rider. My grandma would take me to her friends farm and I got to ride the horses she had. I begged my mom for some riding pants pants because I wanted to look professional but she never got me any. Every time I see young kids in their riding pants and getting horseback lessons it reminds me of the days when I was a kid and wanted to learn too.

I told my kids that if they ever wanted horseback lessons I would try my best to get them some but they don’t care for horses too much. They have a cousin who’s wife owns a few horses and they have helped feed the horses but they really don’t care to ride the horses. I guess the whole horseback riding thing was my dream not theirs and although small they know what they want and don’t want.





Our next vacation plan

The family wants to go back to Laughlin but we all agreed that we would like to go visit when the temps are not in the hundreds range. The weather when we visited was 114 and i thought I was going to die. I like summer but not super hot weather. I have always like winter because I can always layer clothes on and be warm but when its summer other than stripping down there is not much you can do to cool off.

The weather has been super crazy where I live. We have had temps be in the 100 range and had tornado watch which has never been heard of in our town. We also had hail when it was raining even though it was hot and muggy. I seriously think we have messed up the planet so much mother nature does not know what to do.





I want to provide the best I can

It’s funny what crosses my mind when I am depressed or stressed out. I try to think about all the nice positive things going on in my life and try not to dwell on the bad things that are happening around me. I tried to avoid family drama as much as I can and resort to remembering happy times such as decorating the christmas tree with my grandma. I remember my grandma had such cute ornaments such as nutcracker ballet christmas ornaments and picture ornaments that her children and grandchildren did as a child. Those memories always put a smile on my face. They make me remember that bad moments in time will pass and dont have to be remembered.

I want my children to remember all the good times we have had and not the bad times. I hope I am a good parent and I hope I provide them with all the wisdom they will need through out their lifetime.





I wish I could help out more

I have been stressed but seriously who doesnt get stressed when money is tight. We had to replace the car that my husband was using to drive to work because the part alone for that car was 1700 dollars and we had already invested about 3000 in auto repair for that car this year alone. My uncle said it was time to say bye bye to the car. We were in a rut because we didnt know if we could afford another car payment than the one we already have on the van.

I have tried applying ofr jobs but jobs around here are very scarce and even I haven’t been given the chance to prove that I can be the best worker they have ever had if I am just given the chance. I really wish I could contribute more to the house but right now it it doesnt seem I can contribute as much as I would like 🙁





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