I am so proud of my kids and their interests

I wonder if I am going to end up being a mom to some musical geniuses? My daughter loves to sing and lately my son has been showing lots of interest in playing a musical instrument. My husband suggested he take piano lessons but he wants to play something much cooler in his words. I have heard of a bedell guitar and thought we could check that out and see if he is interested. I really hope we don’t end up with him wanting a drum set.

I of course will support anything my son will want to play but I cant help but want an instrument that wont be as loud as some instruments can be. I think its great that my kids are so interested in music and musical instruments. I love that they like to try new things. When I was their age I was very scared to try new things because I didn’t want to fail or have anyone make fun of me. My kids aren’t as shy and I love that.

My daughter will have her first solo performance

I am quite excited because my daughter will have her first solo performance in her choir class. We have waited all school year to see her perform a solo. I have so much pride when it comes to my daughters singing. I love her voice and many people have told me that she has a beautiful singing voice. She has entered talent shows and I have had people come and tell me that she should continue with her singing.

I cannot wait for the days to go by and I can have the family go to her performance. School is getting out in two weeks and what better way to leave school than with the memory of having your own solo performance. My daughter has been so excited that she has done nothing but practice and practice her signing. I am such a proud mom. I am sure dad is just as proud but mom shows it more!!

One more thing to add to my list

As if my life right now wasn’t in rumbles my freaking computer seems to want to act up. I wish I could speed up my pc and have it act right. I hate waiting for a long time before the pages come up. I have tried cleaning out the cookies and I have defragmented my computer and I am still having issues. Right now we cannot buy another computer so I am just going to have to deal with this slow computer.

In a way I don’t have to worry about my computer for freelance work because I am not working at the moment. I would love to be working as we could use the money but unfortunately right now I don’t have any work to do. I am going to keep looking for work and hope that one of the job applications I put in will be picked and I will be called for a job interview.

ugh I am not in the mood

I have been soo blah lately. I think I am still in mourning plus not having online work to do has also made me feel depressed and anxious. I keep wondering what we are going to do now that the money will not be coming in. I keep applying for jobs and calling to the places I submit my resume to but none of them have called me. I don’t want to lose hope but every day a little bit of my hope goes down. I cannot help but feel sad and anxious.

I really hope I am paid soon for the months I did do work. I hate to not be paid for the work I did. These past few months have not been good to me at all. I wish I had a do over button that I could push and replay the past and choose different paths. I wish I didn’t have to go through all this stress I am going through right now.

I can’t find any kind of distraction

I can’t seem to distract myself. My hubby seems to be able to distract himself by playing Highland Games while I feel nothing but sadness. We had so many plans and things to do. I was supposed to learn to drive the freeway. We were supposed to go camping as a family. I am really upset at the hospital. I hate feeling like there is nothing we can do and that they will do the same thing to some other family.

You would think that I would be used to losing family members since I have lost so many but it is never easy. It seems much harder for me because we spent so much time with him. My kids wont be able to see him again and be able to sit down and tell him stories. I hate losing the people I love the most 🙁


If you have been wondering what has been going on with me lately and why I haven’t posted… I will tell you why. Shortly after my birthday, the next day to be exact we find out that my uncle went to the emergency room because he was having severe stomach pains. He was taken by ambulance from the house to the hospital. If you saw how big and strong he is you would know that the pain must have been severe for him to travel by ambulance.

Well when his sister and his mom get to the hospital which wasn’t right away they find out that when he got there all they did was take blood and put him out on the waiting room and left him there. It took four hours and for him to collapse while waiting before they took him to the back and start running tests. After they start running tests they find out he had suffered from pancreatitis and that the pancreas had burst while he was waiting. Then the hospital want to rush to try to fix things but by them all the stuff in the pancreas spread and started to shut off all the organs. Sadly he was not able to make it and he passed away. I ask myself why did the hospital not check him out like they were supposed to? why did they wait for him to collapse when he had complained of severe pain and he told them he was having chest pains? What hurts me the most is this could have been prevented if he was taken are of sooner instead of being left for 4 hours in the waiting room!!! He was 45 and we still needed him here with us!!!!

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