My face has broken out again. I have a huge pimple and even though I ahve used all different types of face cream it still wont go away. I am not sure why I am breaking out so often but it is annoying the living daylights out of me.

I havent even been eating as much candy as I usually do. I think i am going to have to go to the dermatalogist soon if my face doesnt stop breaking out. I am mnot a freaking teenager anymore. I might want to look as hot as a teenager but i sure as heck dont want my face breaking out like one. Ok I shall step off the soapbox now.

Have I wrote on here about how much I have gained weight since I have had the twins? Most people lose weight after having their babies, not me I gain weight. I know alot of it has to do with me eating everything that I cant during my pregnancies and during the holidays last year I stuffed my face so I cant really complain because I did it to myself. I fro one sure cant tell others how to reduce belly fat because I dont even know.

I really need to get on some kind of diet because even my big clothes are fitting me tight. I cannot and will not go past the clothes size I already wear I refuse to buy clothes that are bogger than what I already have. I wish I can friends that lived close to me so I could workout with someone. I need someone to motiviate me. I need a partner in crime

In my endless quests to find jobs or things to do I came across information on how to get bpi certification so that I can save money from all the energy we are using now. I have tried many ways to save energy and go green and this bpi certification really caught my eye.

You dont even want to know how outrageous our bills have been. I bet alot of it has to do with all the people we have in our house too. I cannot tell the kids enough to turn off the lights when they are not in the room and I have to constantly be turning off the t.vs that they leave on and just walk away.

I am really thinking of implementing a day where we will try not to use any electricity and see how that goes. I want to save moeny because I know during the summer the bills will be outrageous.

When the weather is so blah I wish I could escape to one of those Outer Banks beach rentals and just read a book and lay down and relax. I dont get to relax much and I think that is exactly what I need. I really need some rest and relaxation.

I hope I can go to the movies with my honey and just chill.I really havent had anytime to spend with the hubby because by the time he gets home I am exhausted beyond belief. I am hoping that when he gets a few days off we can at least have a quick getaway.

Our birthdays are coming up soon so I hope we can at least plan something then. I am going to be the big 30 and I want to have a party even though I doubt that will happen.

I had my daily dose of gossip that I like to read and one of the things that sounded fishy to me is the way that the Brittany Murphy’s husband sounds. I dont know but to me he seems like he would be fishing for all kinds of life insurance leads way before Brittany passed away. He just seems shady I dont know what it is but I am able to look at a person and tell when something aint right.

Anyways I have been so bored lately. I want to get out of the house even if its just to go to the store to buy milk. I am going to see if I can go on a quick getaway and watch a movie. I have been wanting to go see Dear John but I just havent had the time to go see it. I really need to schedule some time for me to just chill and relax.

Oh in other news I think I am going ot go to San Diego this weekend for a friends baby shower. I am going to have to go and pick something nice for her.

I feel so bad when I sit at home thinking about how horrible or unhappy I am at the moment and dont realize that people have it much worse than I do. I was at home sulking because I couldn’t get a quilted blanket I want and then I wake up this morning and hear that Chile had a areally bad earthquake. Here I am complaining about a freaking quilted blanket when I am sure all they would want is some sort of heated blanket to keep them from being cold.

I can be so selfish sometimes and it’s sad that it took for me to see the news to realize that I had been moping and complaining because I couldnt get my way about buying a quilt that I didnt really need. I am glad I stopped dead in my tracks and realized what a big baby I was being when there is bigger problems is the world.

I wish I had a nice jogging stroller or just a stroller in general for the twins. They are getting older and want to be looking around and not be in the baby carriers I bought. If I could have my dream stroller or jogger it would be the Baby jogger city select. Have you seen what that stroller can do? I love strollers that you can add things too.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a gaget and gizmos kinda girl. I love electronics and I like new gadgets. I wish I was a billionaire because that way I would be able to buy all those gadgets and gizmos I see. I dont know how long its been since I have been wanting a apple ipod. I always say I am going to get it but there is never enough money to get it. I always make sure we are ok and have the stuff we need so there is no extra money to buy the items we want or would like to have.

Can you imagine how easy life would be if I could fix everything by the click of a button like I do on my computer. What if we could use a click here button to get rid of lines or wrinkles on our faces. Or what if by clicking a button we could generate what our body would look like. I for one would give all my life savings for a program like that.

I am tired of doing the best I can and sometimes even more than I have to give and end up with nothing. I feel like all my efforts are for nothing. I am trying to stay strong but I keep faultering. I dont think that stressing and frowning and crying is doing anything to help but I cannot get myself out of this funk.

As I sit here trying to not let myself fall into depression I come up with the craziest of notions in order to not get myself depressed. As you may all know my weight bothers me alot. I am a bigtime nervous eater. Whenever I feel nervous or stressed I try to alleviate myself with food and that is why I weigh what I do now. I then see how fat I am and get depressed and then guess what I do again, I eat.

So why checking myself out in the mirror today and seeing how fat I am I thought of a silly solution. I thought to myself if I could have some type of hgh releaser go on in my body maybe I could grow a few inches and the fatness wouldnt seem as bad. The taller you are the more you can weigh but since I am really short the weight looks really bad on me.

I know growing anymore is out of the question but at least it was a silly idea I thought up.What I really need to do is get my butt in motion and start eating better and excercising. Eating right and excercising is easier said than done but I have to do it.

I have been checking out gossip sites in an effort to try and distract myself from the crap that is going on right now and I am happy to read that nicole richie and Joel madden are getting married. I think they are the cutest celebrity couple out there. The media outlets were saying that she has already starting looking for her wedding dress. I personally like Vera Wang dresses but there are many other designers that have fabulous stuff.

I want to have a big wedding someday. I dont know if I will ever get to since money is so tight with us right now but a girl can dream right. I wish I won the lottery and never had to worry about money. I hate having to pinch pennies here and there.